If the path I travel

The history of the church in China shows that M. E. Barber was the first strong witness in China. She lived purely before the Lord and knew much of the cross and the Lord's life. Her deep experiences are evident in the hymns she wrote. One reads, "If there's less of earth joy, / Give, Lord, more of heaven. / Let the spirit praise Thee, / Though the heart be riven... / Lonely though the pathway, / Cheer it with Thy smile; / Be Thou my companion / Through earth's little while" (Hymns, #377). Another hymn she wrote is "He faileth not, for He is God" (Hymns, #693); this hymn is familiar to many people in Christianity. In addition, she also wrote other hymns, such as "Deep down into the depths of this Thy Name" (Hymns, #671), "Via Bethlehem we journey" (Hymns, #628), and "To the foe my word is always, 'No'" (Hymns, #880).

Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and operative and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit and of joints and marrow, and able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart." According to this verse, the soul and the spirit are two separate parts of our being, since they can be divided. An illustration may help us know how we can actually discern the difference between the spirit and the soul. Once, a brother I knew lost his son. The day that his son died was exceedingly sad for him. Because I wanted to do something to comfort and help him, I went to his home. When I arrived, even before I had said anything, the brother said to me, "Brother Lee, praise the Lord! On the one hand, I am deeply sorrowful. On the other hand, in my inmost part, I am so happy." This brother was sad in his soul. At the same time, he was happy in the spirit. Because he had such a close, intimate relationship with his son, his emotions, a part of his soul, were very much involved with him. Thus, when his son died, he became very sad in his emotions. Yet this brother also had another part, the deepest part of his being, his spirit. In that part he was happy. Miss M. E. Barber once wrote a hymn in which she expresses a similar thought: "Let the spirit praise Thee, / Though the heart be riv'n" (Hymns, #377). The heart is composed of all the parts of the soul (mind, emotion, and will) plus the conscience (Matt. 9:4; Heb. 4:12; Acts 11:23; John 16:22; Heb. 10:22; 1 John 3:20). Because the spirit and the soul are distinct, although our soul may be in one condition, our spirit can be in a very different condition. This shows us how the spirit is distinct from the soul.

Answer: If we have truly seen the great light of the cross, the cross will not merely be a suffering to us, even though from the human perspective, it is still a suffering. Sister M. E. Barber wrote a hymn that says, "Let the spirit praise Thee, / Though the heart be riven" (Hymns, #377). We often reverse the emphasis and say, "The heart is riven, though the spirit praises Thee." We should realize that the purpose of the experience of the cross is death and termination, not suffering, even though some suffering is involved in the process. Our experience confirms this.

When a person learns to care for the inner sense, he is truly spiritual. A person who understands how to care for the inner sense truly lives in the Lord's presence, but one who ignores the inner sense departs from the Lord's presence and from His face. Every time a person obeys the inner sense, he feels that he is closer to the Lord. This is easy to say but difficult to practice. Every day and every moment we encounter distracting things that cause us to ignore the inner sense. We should not allow any matter or thing to hinder our inner sense, but instead, we should care for the inner sense continuously. Hymns, #377, which was written by M. E. Barber, does not use the word sense, but it conveys the experience of following the inner sense. The end of stanza 1 says, "Let the compensation / Daily, hourly, be / Shadowless communion, I Blessed Lord, with Thee." The end of stanza 2 says, "If sweet earthly ties, Lord, / Break at Thy decree, / Let the tie that binds us, / Closer, sweeter, be." These words came from a deep sense in fellowship with the Lord. When we truly love and obey Him, we are spiritual and can live in His presence. In order for all spiritual matters to become our experience, we must care for the inner sense. If we neglect the inner sense, our fellowship with the Lord will immediately stop, and we will not have any spiritual experience. All the things that we encounter during the day can cause us to neglect the inner sense. We must learn to care for the inner sense so that we can maintain uninterrupted fellowship with the Lord. Even if our work keeps us busy, we can still practice this kind of fellowship with the Lord.

If our feelings are tested and refined, every time we come to God and touch such a divinely tested and refined hymn, our feeling cannot help but be caught up in it.

Example 3: Hymns, #377

The flesh profits nothing. We have to pray, "Lord, give me light. Reveal what the flesh is to me." The revelation of the flesh is a crisis, whereas the daily putting to death of the flesh is a process.

The joy of victory is exuberant, but conformity to His death is different. As one hymn says, "Let the spirit praise Thee,/Though the heart be riven" (Hymns, #377).

Miss Barber was a person who truly waited for the Lord's return. She waited daily and yearly. Hymns, #377, is a deep hymn and was written by her. It shows the kind of person she was. Whenever a person came into her presence, that one would sense Christ. She was a person who earnestly waited for the Lord's return. One day, I went into her study room and found her wastebasket filled with wastepapers. She told me that she was working on a letter that morning, and that before she finished it, she felt something wrong within and had to throw the letter away. After this she wrote a second one, only to find that she did not have the peace either, and she had to throw that one away also. In this way, she filled up her wastebasket with wastepapers, and the letter was still not finished. This little incident proves that she was a person who lived in the presence of the Lord.

After clearing Miss Barber of the injustice, the mission board wanted to send her back to China. However, she felt that the time to leave the mission had arrived, so she resigned from the mission assignments, left the denomination, and came to China on her own by faith. She returned to Mawei outside of Foochow and settled there. She spent most of her time praying. She also preached the gospel and supplied life to the people who contacted her. She was a person who knew the Spirit and life. Several of the deep hymns in our hymnal were written by her and translated by Brother Nee, such as Hymns, #377, "If the path I travel / Lead me to the cross, / If the way Thou choosest / Lead to pain and loss," and hymn 506 in Chinese: "He faileth not, for He is God." From reading her hymns, we know that she was quite spiritual and that she knew how to pray.

Man's greatest suffering is finding his desires unfulfilled. When a person cannot satisfy his desires, he may rebel, disagree, or complain in his heart. But if he would lift up his head at that very moment and say to the Lord, "I thank You because this is Your will," his capacity would be increased. Without the cross, all spiritual blessings will stop. When harsh words, unkind expressions, or unhappy incidents happen at home, a person may weep. Yet if he would say to the Lord in tears, "I accept and am satisfied with the things You have permitted to come upon me," he would grow. Madam Guyon said, "Lord, even if You chastise me with a whip, I will still kiss that whip with my mouth." Miss Barber wrote in one of her hymns: "Let the spirit praise Thee,/Though the heart be riven" (Hymns, #377). This was spoken by one who truly knew God and who truly knew the cross.

This also is a very good hymn. The expressions and wording are very poetic, and the feeling is very deep. Everything about it belongs to a higher realm and is lofty and mature. It is rare for a hymn on fellowship to reach such a standard. There is not a tint of unnaturalness or extreme. It is a genuine expression of a genuine lover of the Lord toward Him. It is perfect submission borne out of perfect consecration. It is the voice of submission that comes from the heart of one who has no resistance toward the Lord.

"If the path I travel/Lead me to the cross,/If the way Thou choosest/Lead to pain and loss,/Let the compensation /Daily, hourly, be/Shadowless communion,/Blessed Lord, with Thee." This is full of consecration and submission.

Stanza two is the best stanza in the whole hymn. Here the feeling ascends still higher. "If there's less of earth joy"—the writer is contemplating—"Give, Lord, more of heaven." He is praying to God, not for deliverance or for change, but for more fellowship. "Let the spirit praise Thee, /Though the heart be riven." Here is a person who can differentiate between the heart and the spirit. The heart may be broken, but the spirit can praise. The heart may be riven, but the spirit is still fresh before God. He knows the difference between the heart and the spirit. He does not ask for enjoyment of the heart but for compensation of the spirit. He has begun the ascent, but the next line is still higher. The first line says, "If there's less of earth joy," while the fifth line says, "If sweet earthly ties, Lord,/Break..." These two lines are linked by the word earth. This is poetry. "If sweet earthly ties, Lord,/Break at Thy decree,/Let the tie that binds us,/Closer, sweeter, be." He seeks neither compromise nor escape. He asks only for better fellowship. He jumps from the "sweet earthly ties" in the fifth line to "the tie that binds us." This is lovely. The feeling is fine, the words are right, and the structure is wonderful. This is beautiful!

Since stanza two reaches the climax, stanza three turns into a prayer: "Lonely though the pathway,/Cheer it with Thy smile." "Cheer it with Thy smile"—this is so spiritual and poetic. "Selfless may I live, Lord,/By Thy grace to be/Just a cleansd channel/For Thy life through me." This means that he asks for nothing else except that he would be a selfless and holy vessel to carry out God's will. This is the prayerful finale of a consecrated person in suffering. If we read this hymn carefully, we will see that this is truly a fine hymn. We have to come to God to learn these hymns and the spirit of these hymns.