當我蒙恩能彀施恩

1
當我蒙恩能彀施恩,
可憐!我竟自己知道!
我是如何超越本分,
自己覺得、自己記牢!
我想我是活在神前,
但我暗許自己敬虔!
2
我的一生充滿試煉,
大至不是常人可忍;
人雖不知我的苦艱,
我卻知道自己堅韌;
我想我是丟棄自己,
但我不忘自己經歷!
3
我知我是滿受恩惠,
已至地上無人似我!
在我身上,在我心內,
我能尋出神的工作!
神的工作在我身上,
我全知道如何欣賞!
4
我知我的所有登造,
我知我的一切善義,
不知不覺我覺自豪,
中心從神移到自己;
我的手中隔夜嗎哪,
已變臭壞,已被蹧蹋。
5
當有朋友向我慰問,
向我苦情表示同情,
我的驕傲不再隱悶,
我的忍耐立即空罄;
我就失敗如同常人,
咒詛生日顯出根本。
6
神阿,我是風聞有你,
講你論你,我是都能;
但是我的敗壞自己,
從未因你有何變更;
我用你賜固我驕傲,
我因你恩加我自高。
7
但我現今親眼見你,
你的聖潔顯我污穢,
你的亮光使我傾圮,
你的榮耀使我痛悔,
使我痛悔我怎能以
對我自己如此著迷?
8
何等慚愧,何等慚愧,
將你恩典裝飾自己,
高抬自己用你作為,
無一動機不是可鄙;
我的失敗不可收拾,
我的得勝更為羞恥。
9
何等羞恥我能驕傲!
何等瞎眼我能愚昧!
污穢竟會以為潔好,
肉體竟會以為佳美;
我是何等無知自義!
我偷多少榮耀歸己!
10
你早知我何等敗壞,
但我竟然一無所知,
竟然以為自己可賴,
豈知乃是十分可恥;
主阿,可否求你救我,
今天為我開此捆鎖。
11
主阿,我心是在希望
能有塵土給我躺臥,
能有爐灰撒我身上,
讓我懊悔我的墮落;
我是羞恥,羞恥無盡,
我有如此敗壞的心。
12
我的言語何等不準,
我的生命何等膚淺,
我的存心無不濁溷,
我的一切無不可厭;
我今恨惡我的自己,
主阿,我的希望在你。
第七節的『傾圮』
意思是毀壞。
第十二節的『濁溷』
意思是污穢不潔。
1
Timothy Ah

Malabon, Ncr, Philippines

1

When I am graced to grace bestow,

What a shame I actually know!

How I transcend my own duty,

I feel and put in memory!

I think I live before Deity,

Stealthly commend myself Godly!

2

My whole life trials ten thousand,

Which most people cannot withstand,

Though men do not me understand,

I know that I'm able to stand;

I think I had myself eject,

But not my experience forget!

3

I know I have been graced fully,

No one on earth has been like me!

In my being and in my heart,

The work of God I seek and see!

I fully know to appreciate,

The work of God that is on me!

4

I know all my high achievements,

I know all my good righteousness,

I became proud unconsciously,

The center moved from God to me;

Yesterday manna my hand lay,

Became smelly, became decay.

5

When friend condolences offer,

To my plight express sympathy,

My pride is hidden no longer,

My patience fail immediately;

My defeat like commoners' way,

Cursed my birthday, true self display.

6

I had heard of You by the ear,

I can talk and speak about You,

And yet my own corrupted self,

Has never change even by You;

I use Your gift to build my pride,

With Your grace exalt myself high.

7

But right now my eyes behold You,

Your holiness shows I'm filthy,

Your light made me to fall down dead,

Your glory made me feel pity,

And regret of how I can be

So fascinated to my me?

8

What dishonor, what dishonor,

With Your grace to myself adorn,

With Your works to myself honor,

No motive not despicable;

My failure is out of control,

My victory a shame ev'n more.

9

How shameful that I can be proud!

How blind that I can be a fool!

Filthy yet think I'm clean and pure,

Fleshly yet think I'm beautiful,

How self-righteous foolish is me!

To have stolen so much Your glory!

10

You know that I'm despicable,

But I don't know that I'm a fool,

Even think I'm dependable,

Now that I know I'm so shameful;

O Lord, I beg You to save me,

Open today this lock for me.

11

Lord, my heart hopes and longs for,

To have dust for my face to fall,

To have ashes on me befall,

Let me regret for my downfall;

I am shameful, shame to the full,

To have such a heart corruptful.

12

My words are so inaccurate,

My life so much on the surface,

My intention's adulterate,

My all nothing I do not hate,

I currently myself distaste,

Lord, in You is my hope and faith.