Jesus, my Lord, to Thee I cry

I have come to the very end of my strength in my Christian life. I have failed again and again, I have made many supposedly firm resolutions, countless times, and broken them all. I am completely tired. This song is the only thing I can find in my heart, as an expression of how I feel before God. If He doesn't help me, then I know I am done for.

I love this hymn.

Today being the 9th/May/2017, I promise to stay awake till 1am meditating the word of God in the book of Matthew 5:1-12 (The Beatitude) the verse that draws my attention to this song was verse 8 which said,

''Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God''

I asked myself, is my heart pure? Then the spirit rebuke me because I know my short comings that I need to amend. With this song, I am highly blessed.

''And take me as I am''.

Once more thank God for FCS POSEC retreat 2015 at Damaturu, that is where I heard the song.

This is a perfect song for the contrite and broken spirit; and God will never despise a broken and a contrite heart. Like the Psalmist in Psalm 61:2, anytime my heart is overwhelmed within me, I find great solace in this song. Whenever my spirit is broken, I find the Spirit of God surging through me in this song because I have come to know without any shadow of doubt that unless God helps any soul, death is imminent. This song lifts my soul to God in total surrender.

I have been searching for this song with the Yoruba version for upward of 2 years. I remembered only the refrain and not the beginning. This made the search difficult. I love to humn the refrain whenever I am at my wit's end. While searching for another song in the Christ Apostolic Church Hymn Book, I stumbled on the Yoruba version. What a great JOY that filled my heart yesterday.

The other song's refrain is:

Kini a o ro, kini a o so
Gbati Baba ba pe wa
Pe omo o ma bo wa
Wa jise owo re o.
Who can help out??????

I see exactly myself in the picture this song painted and my hope is that precious and spotless Blood that was shed. That is my only hope and with this hope I got some courage that I can still push a little more further, and I can still get to the promise. With this hope I'm not giving up yet on myself, because he has absolute knowledge of how it feels whenever I fall along the way, I can hear him say get up and move on, I shed my blood for you!

Helpless I am Lord, and full of guilt, But yet for me Thy blood was spilt, And thou canst make me what thou wilt, And take me as I am.

No Preparation can I make, My best resolves I only break, Yet save me for thine own Name sake, and Take me as I am.

This is me helpless and full of guilt. Daily I made promises that I will not allow my eyes take me astray but after a while I break. If it is by my own righteousness I can not measure up to You Lord but glory be to God it is with Your righteousness. Yet Lord take me as I am.

Thou canst make me as thou wilt. I can't go on like this, work in me to grow and overcome.

"Whom have I on earth, beside Thee? Who in Heaven, but Thee"? You ignore my transgressions and forgive my iniquities. For my sake, you were shamed and crucified on the cross, and what do I give you in return? Nothing; at best, I break all my best resolves, but you still love me unconditionally. Sweet Jesus, please "take me as I am" lest I perish.

I woke up this morning with a line of the lyrics of this hymn - My only plea is CHRIST died for me. So I went for one of the leaflet that I have at home from one of the retreats that I have attended in the past organised by Peace House Gboko Nigeria Western Zone. I found the song there but I needed the right tune for it so I went into the search engine to bring it up.

I am richly blessed by this song today. As I spend this day in the presence of my Maker alone seeking a way forward not by my own righteousness but by that blood shed for me by my Saviour CHRIST Jesus .